I hear things wrong. A lot. I can blame my hearing loss, but I think there’s a flaky connection, an intermittent short, in my brain that helps things along.
Last night, on the phone with my sister, I heard her say something about a cast-iron girdle. It was of out of context with what we had been talking about, but it wouldn’t be the first time she went off on a wild tangent. So I asked, and it turns out she said “cast iron griddle.” It was an item on a long list of things she had just bought. We continued to discuss whether the cast-iron girdle would be a sex toy, and if it might have a padlock on it. Who am I to judge?
A week earlier, I had been driving along, listening to the radio, and heard them talking about a “stinkin’ cheeseburger.” Right. Steak-and-cheeseburger. Wonder if the people who wrote that script knew what it might sound like? They should beta-test all radio scripts and ads to make sure there isn’t a really unintended, other, meaning.
And those abs…Pilates teacher, talking us through our workout. “This series of exercises is really good for your phenomenal muscles.” Well, mine are kind of phenomenal, but, upon asking, it was….abdominal muscles. You gotta have a sense of humor.